086 – John Gray – Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus


This week’s guest is John Gray, author and relationship expert. His book “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” has forever changed how we view relationships. His unique approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the chemistry for lasting health, happiness, and romance. Not only is he an advocate of health and optimal brain function, but he is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice.

Through his books continuing to be bestsellers, John has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today, People, and has appeared on Oprah, as well as on The Dr. Oz Show, Today, CBS This Morning and many others.

In this episode, John Gray joins the show to provide valuable insights to improve relationships at all stages of life and love.


Time Stamped Show Notes

  • [00:11] Welcome to the show…

    • 01:05 John tells the story on how his journey started and why he became an author.
    • 09:27 John explains symptoms of men being stuck on their female side: moodiness, over-reactivity, passivity, unable to follow through, procrastination, addiction.
    • 10:00 A short lesson on male/female biology and how women are different to men.
    • 14:08 We all have a male and a female side, and John explains how the release of sexual hormones make women and men feel about themselves.

    [16:50] For men it’s the size of the gift (or of the effort), and for women it’s the number of efforts. 

    • 17:52 Once our basic survival needs are met, our emotional needs become just as important as food.
    • 22:47 In the beginning of a relationship, men tend to be very motivated to do lots of little things for women because they are not willing to do the big stuff yet.
    •  28:30 One of the worst communication skills is to yell at somebody who is close you to.
    • 29:55 When a woman talks about her feelings, she will talk herself into feeling better and better if men don’t interrupt her.

    [46:00] Saying “I hear you” is much better than saying “I’m sorry” for men.

    • 54:48 Whenever we are having negative emotions, we’re like a child. John explains what sadness, anger, and guild really mean and how we are using them to manipulate the environment. 
    • 55:54 Whenever you as a woman are bothered by anything your partner does, preface it with the phrase “You know it’s not a big deal, but I would really like if you would do this.”
    • 59:59 John explains the various courses he offers on his website. 
    • 01:10:00 John talks about masturbation and how it is related to a low testosterone level in men. 

    [01:25:25] We are designed as human beings to put the attention to negative and positive things. We have the ability to be positive all the time and to see negativity around us.

    • 01:26:10 Whenever you are having a hormonal imbalance, you are in a fight or flight state. John will explain how we can overcome this and gives specific advice to women and men.

Key Learning Points…

  1. “The purpose of sex is to share and express love.”
  2. “Once our basic survival needs are met, our emotional needs become just as important as food.”
  3. “One of the worst communication skills is to yell at somebody who is close to you.”



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